Story by Kieran Ricketts, camera by Leonard KingUpdated October 12, 2012 13:34:54
Billy Hardy was 20 years old when he and his Gold Coast AFL team-mates boarded a plane from Brisbane Airport to Bali in October, 2002.
Unlike the rest of his team-mates, the young man from Tweed Heads, New South Wales, would never return from that trip - and his family and friends have never come to terms with his death in Bali's Sari nightclub.
Watch the video story in full here, or watch it in segments below as you read the full story.
"It was really hard to say goodbye [the last night we were together]," said Billy's sister, Jessica - best known as the blonde-haired provocateur from early episodes of reality television franchise Big Brother.
"I don't know why I had this sense of knowing. I just wished I'd have stopped him," she said.
Jayson Pate, a team-mate of Billy's who played alongside him with the Southport Sharks AFL club, organised the trip to Bali.
"I remember visiting the Sari Club site with Bill Hardy senior and the boys [after the bombing] and just shedding many tears," Mr Pate said.
"I think that's what I needed most - to say sorry to [Mr Hardy]. I know it's a silly emotion to have."
Billy's parents, Bill and Christine Hardy, separated when their son was just two years old, but the family remained tight-knit.
Mr Hardy senior, who describes his son as "a rock" and his "idol", is also wrangling his own demons a decade on.
"The thing that probably irks me most is that he said to me 'Dad, do you want to drive me up to Brisbane tomorrow to catch the plane?" he says.
"I didn't drive him up there, not knowing what the consequences were going to be of that trip - and that's stuck with me right through to today."
Sister Jessica says that Billy "was the glue that stuck us all together".
"Whenever I was lost, he was the person I turned to," she said.
It was the seventh night of a 10-night trip for the Southport Sharks when the laid-back holiday spent whitewater rafting in Ubud and drinking Bintang turned into an apocalyptic scene.
"We were standing in quite a tight circle - having a drink, having a laugh," Jayson Pate said.
Watch Jayson Pate recount the events that saw him survive the bombing in full here.
"I remember hearing a bang - sounded like a firecracker, really - coming from across the road. But Bali being Bali - and being a Saturday night - it wouldn't be out of the ordinary for it to be a firecracker.
"I turned back to have a sip of my beer and it was just lights out. I actually thought I'd been buried alive.
"Panic struck in, and I threw everything off from on top of me. I just remember seeing fire down my left side where the bars were ... and just smoke and chaos.
"I do remember looking to the left and seeing what I thought was a car, which turned out to be the van, sitting in front of the Sari Club and just burning in flames.
"People [were] walking straight out from the front of the Sari Club on fire, hands outstretched, not being able to see where they were going."
Earlier that night, Christine Hardy's phone line had been cut as Telstra performed maintenance work.
"[Billy] had tried calling through. Now if he had still been on the phone, would he have missed it?" said Jessica.
"I don't know why he felt compelled that night to ring - but he called his mate Jase to say 'I can't get through to Mum's house - I don't know why - but tell them I love them'."
Billy's call to his best friend Jase Swain would be his last phone call.
"It was about 11:30pm. He told me he was having a great time, just heading out clubbing with some of his mates," Mr Swain said.
"He just said he missed me and couldn't wait to come home, but said he was having a great time. It was a pretty quick conversation. I woke up the next day and it didn't seem real."
Back in Bali, amid the chaos, Jayson Pate and his team-mates realised they were down a man.
"A couple of hours afterwards, everyone was able to meet up again and realise that we were missing Billy," Mr Pate said.
"We thought there was every chance that Billy could have been split off and was helping somebody else and ended up going one of the other directions away from the Sari Club.
The wait for definite news about Billy turned out to be a protracted, agonising experience for the Hardys.
Mr Hardy received word from the manager of Billy's football team while on a business trip in central Queensland.
"[The team manager] said 'there's been a bombing in Bali', and I thought 'oh well, a gas cylinder's exploded' or something like that," he said.
"But he just said 'turn the TV on and wait until we call you back".
Billy's team-mates each returned home with no further news of Billy's whereabouts, and a separate reconnaissance trip from an extended family member failed too.
Jessica and Bill Hardy eventually took matters into their own hands and visited Bali themselves.
"They hadn't cleaned up the site, even six weeks after. There were still beers - Bintang - on the bar, half drunk," Jessica said.
The father and daughter scoured Denpasar hospitals, hoping Billy had been overlooked by authorities and was still recovering.
"The conditions, with due respect, were pretty horrific. I mean, in Sanglah hospital ... I remember like it was yesterday - you had open drains running through," Mr Hardy said.
Things weren't any more promising at the makeshift Australian Federal Police headquarters.
Watch Bill Hardy senior describe his visit to the AFP's operation in Bali as he searched for Billy in full.
"We were the first to be allowed in," Mr Hardy said.
"They were analysing all the evidence and identifying people. We were taken there in an armed vehicle, had to go through all the security checks. They put on morning tea for us, and a lot of them knew Jessica from Big Brother.
"At that stage it could have taken up to another three months."
In a last desperate attempt, Bill and Jessica retraced Billy's steps during the last days of his holiday.
"We followed all of his movements. We went to where he stayed. We checked out where he'd been up in the hills in Ubud ... to experience what was maybe his last day," said Jessica.
But eventually resignation set in.
"Dad and I went out into the ocean. We cleansed ourselves and threw some of his items into the water. I just needed to break down in the whitewash," she said.
It was the day after their return home that Bill, Jessica and Christine Hardy received the crushing news Billy was never coming home.
"[The federal police] said I think you need to sit down - and then one of them broke the news and said they'd found Billy's body."
Mr Hardy says he "gave them a serve" because it was only after they made the effort to visit AFP headquarters did they receive an answer.
"They stood there and took it. But halfway through doing that something hit me. I thought, what am I doing?" Mr Hardy said.
"This is just out of bloody frustration and not wanting to hear what they've got to say. And I apologised."
Christine Hardy says it was "a relief" because the family could start to plan Billy's funeral.
In November, the Hardys and hundreds of others finally had the chance to say goodbye to Billy at a packed St Joseph's church in their hometown of Tweed Heads.
Jase Swain, Billy's friend since childhood, choked back tears as he said his final farewell.
"It is often said that you do not know what you have until you lose it. But we always knew what we had with you, Billy," he said.
As the pallbearers walked Billy's coffin to the hearse for its final goodbye - surrounded by a throng of photographers and camera crews - Jessica's brave public facade finally melted as she broke down on the concrete, and the hearse led Billy away to be cremated.
Mr Hardy watched the Indonesian justice system gradually deal with the men responsible for the Bali bombings, but says even after they were executed it brought him little solace.
"I didn't really want to think about them. I didn't really want to give them any of my energy.
"I can still see their faces, and if I'd have had the opportunity, I would have quite happily been there to hold the gun," he says.
"I've tried to find out why [the bombers] had these attitudes. But I can never forgive them," Jessica said.
"I can never forgive someone who robbed me of my brother and my relationship with him."
Christine Hardy says although she still "deals with it every day", she wants to stay strong to honour her son's memory.
"He was cheeky, smart, friendly, very caring - all the qualities you admire in a son. I was very lucky. Every day we told each other how much we loved each other. He was very loving and caring, and I was the same," she said.
"The irony is I feel like I'm missing limbs too since he's gone. I'm not a whole person either," Jessica said.
Jayson Pate hung up his footy boots in 2007, but says returning to the field after the bombing brought up "mixed emotions".
The pain remains most acute for Bill Hardy, who says he is constantly reminded of his son's loss.
"Will the 10-year anniversary make it any easier for my family or myself? Never," Mr Hardy said.
"You think about it every day one way or another. It'll never get any easier."
The Hardy family have returned to Bali for this year's decade commemoration service.
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bali First posted October 11, 2012 11:46:17
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